Holy Christmas!!

Alright. So this story may not be as funny as my "Hotter than hell" day I had in NY, but I definitely feel as though I had to write up a quick blog about this.

The Dinklemobile is sick. She's been acting funny since before I got back-- but moreso now that its gotten colder. Shaking, sputtering, loss of power during acceleration: an all out inconvenience in a city that requires EVERYONE to have a car. I called AAA and asked them to point me in the direction of the closest diagnostic center; a automobile's doctor's office.

The place wasn't far, just about a half-mile down Ponce from my house. I dropped it off this morning, checked her in, and waited around for another twenty minutes for the Courtesy Shuttle to pick me up and take me to the Marta.

For some reason, I DON'T miss riding the train.

The shuttle dropped me off at the North Ave. station and I grabbed my baggage and headed for the ticketing machine. I stood there in blind stupor trying to figure out what meant who and what the heck a "Breeze Card" is. (Note: Breeze Card = Metro Card). The local cop came up and stood behind me, asking me if I needed any help. Trying to sound as uncertain as I could, I said "Um... no... I...uh... think... I..." trailing my voice off to sound more convincing. Before I can turn around, my so-called shirpa bounded off to help another person. Jerk.

So, looking as tourist-y as possible, I finger the railway map, making sure I needed to go northbound instead of southbound. I take the stairs down, and wait for a few minutes for The Silver Bullet to approach.

Getting on the train, I felt like I was stepping back onto the 4, to casually find my spot standing holding the pole at the opposite door. I quickly realized that everyone was sitting, and that there were actually a few available seats. I quickly decided to remain standing: I look cute today. Everyone's just going to have to stare at me. I find my Gazing Spot... you know, that spot you find on the train to stare at to avoid eye contact from everyone around you. Remember: I'm standing. I don't have a whole lot of places I can look. I see something flicker out of the corner of my eye and see a small television embedded into the panel. Praise Moses! Entertainment Bliss! I've found my Gazing Spot!

Four stops later and I get off the train, and THOUGHT I'd end up one place but ended up someplace completely different. CRAP. Instead of walking one-and-a-half blocks north and one block west, I ended up having to walk an entire six blocks west.

Ladies and Gents: its KUHOLD outside today. I'm talking Des Moines Winter quality cold. Its 19 degrees with a windchill of 2, and the wind is blowing NNW at 21 MPH. I wouldn't even lock enemies outside in this.

I start the journey (uphill, mind you) to work. The icy wind hitting my face, my eyes begin to water, nose starts to run and I have nowhere to turn to hide. A gym bag and a bookbag strapped to my back, I mentally kicked myself for actually WANTING to work out today.

Two blocks down... four more to go.

My legs begin to tingle and itch from my blood trying to circulate under freezing skin. The wind whipps past my butt to remind me how open and vulnerable I am. I shift my gym bag backwards to help cover the cold cheeks. Although it did help a little, a small shock of wind would find its way between me and the bag whenever I took a step. Friggin' hips.

Four blocks down... two to go.

This is at the very busy (and WIDE) intersection of Lenox and Peachtree. The opposite cross light isn't functioning properly-- of course I didn't realize this until four rounds of straight north-south, straight east-west, turn, turn cycles were executed. I decided to take a chance: I'd officially lost all feeling in my hands and the tears from my eyes were officially frozen to my face.

I double-dutched my way across the street, avoiding delivery trucks and angry cab drivers. Making it safely across, I gazed back at my accomplishment of safely passing through the most dangerous intersection in Atlanta.

I can see the office building in the horizon and my legs are really starting to complain. The itching and tingling intensified, it took everything in me to keep from clawing my jeans off and scratching right then and there. But since I was in public and still outside, I refrained. But the idea made me smile a little.

I rounded the final curve and entered the office building. The security guard looked at me in shock as I came in sniffing and wide-eyed... not even so much as a good morning. I passed by a reflective spot on the elevator doors and finally saw what he was so agape about. My bangs had flown straight up despite the excessive application of hairspray, my ponytail looked like a cat got a hold of it. My eye makeup had mosey'd its way up near my forehead and I'd actually lost an earring. The tears were still frozen to my face and now starting to melt and my entire face and hands were as red as a newly-spanked butt. I blinked, wiped my nose and got on the next elevator.

Ahh... its good to be warm.