Morning Constitution

If you have sort of a habit in the mornings when you get to work, you can relate. If you don't have a habit, pick one up at your local Walmart.

My habit is tea. I'm not much of a coffee drinker-- I just don't like the stuff. I tried and tried to like it when I turned 25, because hey, that's an offical grown 'n sexy drink. I've tried it iced, frappe'd, cappicino'ed, mocha'ed, whipped, blended, shaken not stirred, all of it. I just can't get with it.

Anywho, I drink tea in the morning for my pick-me-up: a firm combination of two packs of Splenda (three if I'm feeling frisky), one bag of green tea and a bag of cranberry apple. See, the green tea doesn't have much of a taste to it, but I drink it because "they say" its good for you. Whatev. The cran apple has this sweet, robust tingle that just generally makes me happy every time I take a sip. Healthy and tingly. Just how I like most things in my life.

But have you ever noticed, that there is a pattern of people that are around you when you're trying to fix your morning brew in the mornings? You play double dutch in reaching over, around, behind and in front of people to successfully concoct your small caldron of drink without getting overtly frustrated or pissed off that someone is standing in your way between you and happiness. Eventually, it becomes a routine-- sort of a coreographed dance, if you will, of arms and necks working harmoniously together to acheieve the same goal: The Caffine Fix.

And then, here they come. THE VISITORS. They aren't necessarily people who are coming to visit the job, per se, but its the lady who's running late, had an early meeting and missed her "brew group," or just felt like pissing you off and decided to become the remedial stick in your wheel of progression today. She throws everyone COMPLETELY off, stopping the processes, not standing on the correct side of the coffee maker, reaching down when she should be reaching up or any wild combination of the aforementioned crimes. She smiles and says "Oh, sorry!" alot when all you're thinking in the back of your mind is "If this stringy-haired winch doesn't get out of my way..."

So, friends, know and remember your "brew group" and when your shift is. If you walk into the common area to get your morning brew and you don't recognize the locals, it may be best to hold off until a shift change. Or better yet, to prevent decapitation, the next morning.